Happy Birthday St. Patrick.....St. John Patrick that is.

I member the first time I laid eyes on John Patrick Pullen. You'd member too. It ain't every day you sees a man passed out in'n inner tube on the Georgia coast. I pulls this feller outta the water onto land. He wernt lookin' real good, skin all pale, eyes all red. I said to myself, I says, this feller done got him self all liquered up an' fell in this here inner tube and floated around all night. I says to'em, I says, "Hey bub, whatcha doin' floating round in the At-lantic"? He tries lookin' at me but his eyes kepta just rolling round his head like some one just put a lickin' on his noggin with a canoe oar. So I picks this feller up and put him in the truck and head offta county general.

I stayed at county a spell, seein' if'n he may come round. He ain't got no ID on'em so I figures I can help'm get home if'n he come to. He wakes up after a few hours and starts lookin' round all scared like. I said to'em I says, "Don't be scared man. You got your self all dillied like a pickle last night didncha"? He's lookin at me all cocky eyed like he don't get what I'ma sayin'. I says "What's ya name boss"? He opens his mouth to say suttin and alls I hear is 'I sha shy, sha shy, ukalayli, sha shy'. I says "whoa fella, what in tarnation was that"? I was figurin' at that point he musta swallowed some bad water cuz he wasn't makin' no sense. I went and gots the nurse and told'er this'n here honcho ain't speaking right and they need to check his throat for seaweed or a bottle cap or suttin.

The nurse later told me nutten was wrong with his throat he was just Irish and had an thick ak-cent. I says "Lady that ak-cent must be thicker'n mo-lassie in Feb-roo....Feb-roo....March". I acts where'n he lived and she told me it was lookin' like he done floated that dang ole innertube clean across the ocean from Ire-lind. I says, "So he's an illegal"? She was like "Yuppers". Now I'mma thinkin' to myself what am I gonna do? I rescued some illegal, but he's white and he ain't from mexico. I felt bad for the little dude so once he was up'n bout I decides to take'm home wit me.

I gots Clancy to fix'em up with a fake ID and got him started on speakin' anglish all good and right. Turns out he spoke anglish the whole time I just couldn't make outta dang werd of it. Wouldncha know it, this micks birthday was on St. Patty's Day. Ain't that a hoot. I spect halfa them irish folk are born on that day but I still gets a kick outta it. He ended up gettin' his self inta some high faluttin learnin' place and now he's out makin' a money nuff to put steak in grits every night. Like watchin' on'er yown get all growd up. He don't write or nutthin' but I thinks bout from time to time whens I'mma waitin' in line for my guvment money. That minds me, time to go gets that check. God bless Ameerica!